All my life I thought I was waiting to be seen.
First by my father, then my brother, then the world,
and finally, by the man I married.
I kept hoping someone would say,
“You’re enough. You’re worthy. You’re doing fine.”
But that validation never came.
Instead, life kept handing me mirrors,
each one showing how much of myself I had given away
just to feel accepted.
And one day, it struck me.
If I am yearning so desperately to be validated,
perhaps it means I grew up in spaces
where validation was never freely given.
Maybe the people I sought it from
were themselves too wounded to see their own worth.
How can those still piecing themselves together
ever make me feel whole?
What an irony — wanting approval from people
who are still learning to approve of themselves.
The truth is simple, almost cruel in its clarity:
No one can validate you.
Not your family, not your partner, not society.
Validation is not something you receive,
it’s something you realize.
When you know who you are,
what you want,
and what you will no longer accept,
that’s your validation.
When you work hard,
live consciously,
and act from integrity,
that’s your validation.
And then, one quiet day,
you notice something beautiful.
The world starts reflecting back
what you always carried within.
Not because anyone owes it to you,
but because you finally stopped owing yourself
to anyone else.
Pooja Pradhan
